The Blurb

Cheesy McPheasy: Chapter 2

Okay, now I know how the series is going to go. There are things called segments. Each segment is 5 chapters long. After 5 chapters, there will be a new segment. This is segment 1, of course. Okay now the story really starts.

"This isn't over Cheesy McPheasy! I know who you are! You're uh... uh... well I'll find out who you are! Ha Ha Ha Ha Hee Hee Hoo Hoo Ha!"

EEET! EEET! EEET! EEET! Bobby Joe Fatso's alarm rang like crazy until he decided to get his butt out of bed. He packed for school and decided it was time to leave for his doom.

He waited at the bus stop for his best friend, named Calvin. Finally, he showed up. "Hey Bobby. How'd the fight go last night?"

"Good. I jailed him- again!"

 Calvin pulled out a clipboard. "So since I'm you manager I think that's the... was it the eighty-sixth or the sixty-eigth time you've jailed him?"

"I don't know but that's not the point. I keep having these stupid nightmares where he says he's looking for me and stuff. It's creepy!" Calvin thought for a minute. "I don't know anything about that kind of stuff. It's Hobbes that knows most of the stuff about dreams. He's had lots of experience." Calvin had this stuffed tiger named Hobbes. Bobby never really saw Hobbes during the day.

Bobby's cell phone started to ring. "Uh oh! Big Daddy escaped again! Dangit! Doesn't this guy ever learn?!" He ducked under the bus and transformed into Cheesy McPheasy. He bursted out of the bus, leaving a dent in the ceiling. The action was noticable downtown. There was a car bouncin' up and down and there were big flashes coming from the car. Cheesy flew down and picked up the car. "'ey! Da caw is flyin'!" said a familiar voice coming from the car. Cheesy let go of the car and let it bobble until it was leveled. Cheesy hopped inside of the car. Big Daddy was wearing a big orange jumpsuit, the kind you wear in prison. Big Daddy pulled out two pistols, unconcerned about the condition of the car. Soon there were holes in the seat, they were going so fast that the speedometer was doing 360s, and whenever there were ups and downs in the road, the car would hover above the ground, then land with a big BUMP! And yet Cheesy McPheasy and Big Daddy cared about it. They were too busy playing. Cheesy McPheasy had gained some new cheesepower overnight, so he was winning most of the time. But that didn't stop Big Daddy. He kept on shooting his machine gun like there was 30 seconds left in the world. "This isn't working," thought Cheesy McPheasy. "He's too powerful." He decided to bring in the big guns. He had found a new cheesepower the other day. And let's just say that it's so powerful that in 3000 more years the military still won't beat this unbeatable beat of forcey beat. He held a knife in one hand and a piece of cheese in the other. "You wouldn't!" Big Daddy gasped.

"Oh I would alright." And then, at that very moment; Cheesy McPheasy cut the cheese. There was a big kaboom and there were earthquakes happening all over the place in Moscow. But believe it or not, Big Daddy was still alive. Beat to death but not literally beat to death, he was still alive. "You... kn-know why you were... having th-those nightmares?" moaned Big Daddy.

"... to tell the truth I have no idea," said Cheesy McPheasy. "neither do... I. But I'm still going to kill you. Ha-yaaa-". In case you were wondering, Cheesy McPheasy tapped him on the shoulder.

At Big Daddy's funeral, there was no one but Big Daddy's mom and the priest. But thanks to Cheesy McPheasy, a man of 122, 063,466, 007 commited crimes was now no longer on earth. Cheesy McPheasy saves the day again!

TO BE CONTINUED...

Cheesy McPheasy: Chapter 1

First, before you read any of this epic action story, you have to know a few things.

First, if you're wondering, Cheesy McPheasy is a real superhero. He is just like the Sandman from Spiderman, except it's cheese instead of sand. He can fly and he has a cape. He also has an alter ego named Bobby Joe Fatso.  And that's about it.

Bobby Joe Fatso was half-asleep at his desk. He was in his dumb school named schlooperville academy. Of course, the teacher, Ms. Flubberwubber. She said something about cheese and that gave Bobby an idea. He used his cheesepower to turn his finger into cheese and use it as any deadly projectile he could imagine. He decided to use his "Shut-your-mouth-and-leave-me-alone 3000", as he called it. What it did was when you shoot it at someone, it replaces their voice box with a toy box, so whenever they try to talk a barrel of monkeys or something comes flying out of their mouths.

He fired his selected cheesepower and Ms. Flubberwubber  was spitting out cabbage patch kids by the second. After school, Bobby  went to the dumpster and transfo- "Bobby?" It was his best friend, Calvin. "What are you doing behind the dumpster?"

"I... uh... well- you see... I'mjusttransformingintotheworld'sbestsuperheronamedCheesyMcPheasysoIcanflyhomereallyquicktocheckmyemail."

Bobby panted for about fifteen minutes until Calvin finally spoke up. "Oh. Have fun with that." Bobby sighed with relief. "That was a close one." He transformed into CHEESY MCPHEASY!!!!!!!!! He flew through the skies of Schlooperville. He landed at his house and checked his email. Suddenly the alarm rang really really loudly. A bank robbery! Cheesy McPheasy sped through the city looking for the bank. He reached the crime scene just in time. "Huh Huh Huh! It's Stupid McStupidface! What shall we do?" They teased him. Instantly, Cheesy sprung into action. POW! KABOOM!BLAM BLAM! SMACK! Cheesy defeated the criminals one by one, but there were too many. He finally defeated all of the criminals. Except for one of them. The King Criminal, The Master of Disaster, Big Daddy!

 "Eh, o, why yoo interruptin' ma party eh?" He took out a machine gun and fired away. Cheesy McPheasy dodged the bullets with ease. He thought Big Daddy was going to run out of bullets sooner or later, but he kept on shooting. Cheesy decided to fight back. Still dodging the bullets, he flew around firing string cheese from his fingers. That didn't work, since he kept on missing because he had to keep dodging the bullets. He tried the Shut-your-mouth-and-leave-me-alone 3000, because whenever Big Daddy ran out of bullets, he just had to barf up some Nerf darts. He tried cutting the cheese, but Big Daddy had a mask on. He went through every kind of cheesepower, using it different ways, using it on different parts of the body. Finally, Cheesy shot Big Daddy's machine gun. But then Big Daddy pulled out a samurai sword. Cheesy made a sword made out of cheese to match the challenge. They tinged and clanged and fought for hours. Finally Cheesy gained the upper hand.

"Ha Ha Big Daddy! I win! I'm going to take you to jail!" Big Daddy grinned. "No you're not! You can't do anything to me! You can't even take me to court!"

"That is true," a deep voice said. "Cheesy McPheasy can't. But we can." The deep voice had been a police officer to take the criminals to jail. "Thanks Cheesy McPheasy. We couldn't have done it without your help." Cheesy McPheasy saluted the officer and took off in the night sky.

    TO BE CONTINUED...

GOTCHA!

Operation Condor was a successful prank on the pregnant lady. You don't know this so we thought you should know, now that it is over. Our Math/Science teacher, Mrs. Nematode, was heavy duty pregnant. So, the most we could do was raise some money for a baby shower.

But we weren't about to do it the way the normal people would of done it.

We told everyone that the money we were raising was going to some ugly bird called the California Condor. Well, it wasn't true. It all went to our beloved teacher, Mrs. Nematode.

Sorry we didn't tell you the truth, but we couldn't risk our other teacher looking on the Blurb, then the fun would be spoiled. And having spoiled fun is like having a Wii controller but no Wii system.

P.S. (Mrs. Nematode succesfuly gave birth, the baby safe and sound.)

P.S.S.(Mrs. Nematode succesfuly gave birth on my birthday... OH YEAH!)

Yours Truly,

The Wicked Awesome Monkey Dude

Have no doubt, We are back from track out!

Once upon a time there was a monkey named the Wicked Awesome Monkey Dude, a very odd man named Hotdog Bob, and a man in love with nachos named Mr. Nacho. How they got together nobody knows, yet many guess.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

One day, these people heard a rap, by some "50 cent." Monkey Dude said, "Yo man, we gotta out do dis!" Then, they decided to make their raps meaningful, worth time. This, and their other raps, are the results of this random comments.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AND MONKEYS, I GIVE YOU THE WICKED AWESOME NACHO HOTDOGS!!!

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Writing by the Wicked Awesome Monkey Dude, Rap by the Wicked Awesome Nacho Hotdogs

Here are the lyrics:

Current event crackdown

Hotdogs smack down

We're back with a track that's gonna make a new sound

Profound found here

We are kids

Kick'n the Blurb back into gear

Here I am rapping for all my fans

Me and my band

Mak'n a stand

Boy, wit a mic in my hand

Things get grand

THAT'S RIGHT YOU HEARD ME!

Track in, Track in, Track in

Track in, Track in, Track in

Track in, Track in, Track in

We are back in

We were gone

For a while

Now we back wit a track dat gonna make ya smile

We are rappers

But not like 50 cent

Cause we give you content

Track in, Track in, Track in

Track in, Track in, Track in

Track in, Track in, Track in

We are back in

WORD!

Track Out Rap from Da Hot Dogs!

Well, The Blurb Nation is on break again----remember, we're on a year-round calendar.  That means we go to school for nine weeks and then take a three week vacation, only to return to school to do it all over again a few weeks later.  Each time we leave school, it's called "tracking out," and when we come back, it's called "tracking in."

It's kind of like an academic merry-go-round! 

We like it, though.  It means that you, our beloved Blurb readers, get to hear track in and track out raps created by the ever-so-interesting Blurb Rock Band known as The Wicked Awesome Nacho Hot Dogs.  Made up of anywhere from 3-6 boys, seeing and hearing the Hot Dogs perform is nothing short of----Interesting.

Here's their most recent musical creation----which just might be their best!  You can find the lyrics posted at the bottom of the page.  We figured you'd want to sing along:

Download Track_Out_Rap_3.mp3

The Way Sick Lyrics:

I gotta get outa dis joint

Doncha get my point

My butt and da couch need to appoint

I'm done studing air pollution

Da constatution

Nicholas the zsars exucution

Cause boy here is da big sollution

 

Track out (repeat until a verse finishes of the Smoke on the water)

 

I'm gonna go riding in a new corvet

My plan is set

I'll make ya a bet

Dat when dat bell rings out I'll get

I'll be flying away

Like I'm Jango Fett

 

TRACK OUT (repeat until a verse finishes of the Smoke on the water)

 

I have taken a vow

So I gotta rock it loud

For da blurbers and my crowd

Gonna make my pops proud

Gonna rap it right here

Gonna rap it right now

Cause I still have da ability

To truly see

Good music, what ever it be

But for right now it is me

And my crew

DON'T YA SEE?

Image retrieved from http://www.theex.com/media_images/CNE%20-%20Merry%20Go%20Round.jpg on April 1, 2008.

Johnny K and the Brits. . .

So we've got this strange kid on our team.  We don't really know what his name is.  Some people call him Johnny K.  Others call him Billy Burrito.  Me...I just call him annoying.

But the dude slings an axe like no one's business.  Not like a wood choppers axe---I'm pretty sure he couldn't lift one of those---but one of those new fangled e-lectrick gui-tars.  In fact, he could be one of the best little banjo players in the whole jugband if he tried. 

Only thing is, he don't play no banjo.  It's straight up down and dirty amplified music that the city kids probably groove to on those music playin' iPod gizmos. 

And he's forming a band called Johnny K and the Brits.  That's 'cause he hangs out with this British dude.  Only the British kid can't play no gui-tar.  Instead, he plays a wood block.  Yup.  A wood block.  He's always shoutin' out, "Pip, Pip, Cheerio!" when get gets e-lektrified too.  It's kind of strange. 

Anyway, Johnny K wanted to advertise his musical prowess to all of humanity, so I told him about this little thing called The World Wide Web.  "I reckon it's the best way to get sounds spread near and far," I said.  "Anyone who has an Inter Net will be able to hear you."

So he whipped up a few tracks and sent them to me in my e-lek-tronik mail account.  Hope you dig 'em:

Johnny K and the Brits Track 1:

Download JK_Song.mp3

Johnny K Goes Freestyle: 

Download JK_Freestyle.mp3

(I like this one the best.  It's six minutes of freestyle gui-tar playing magic that goes all Patriotic for a minute.  Made me weepy in the eyes.)

So whaddya' think?  Is Johnny K bound for the big time? 

If you're interested in having him play y'all's next family Re-Union, he's in.  All it takes is a lovely tin of sausages.

Signed,

Emmett Otter

Image retrieved from http://www.lionmusic.com/images/edwardboxpic2.jpg on March 24, 2008.

Crank This, Soulja Boy!

Our teacher dared us to change the words of the well-known song Crank That Soulja Boy to a curriculum related subject. I, Spider Pig , Flying Onion Boy, and Tarheel Boy wish to perform this in a weird and hapless attempt to amuse you all.

We first wrote the lyrics for a project in science, and then just today, our teacher mentioned it during current events. It might not be exactly like the song, but give us a break. We are changing Crank that Soulja Boy to a song about the rock cycle. That’s a bit hard.

Crank dis, yo:

Download rock_cycle_rap.mp3 

Here are the lyrics, if you wish to sing along!

rockcycle In This o

[Verse 1:]

o

sedi-mentary o

I was packed together o

Cemented together o

[Chorus x2]

rockcycle In This o

[Verse 2:]

Now, I’m sediment, I’m sediment

[Chorus x2]

rockcycle In This o

[Verse 2:]

I am metamorphic o

Changed by heat and pressure o

O

Watch me stretch And Watch Me grow

The cycle starts all over o!

Now one more time yo!

rockcycle In This o

o

Watch Me change It

Watch Me yo!

Watch Me change type of rock

Then Super rock Dat o

Now Watch me change

(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)

Now Watch Me change

(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)

Now Watch Me change

(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)

Now Watch me change

(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)

Super rock Dat o

now Watch Me change

Watch Me change It

Watch Me yo!

Watch Me change type of rock

Then Super rock Dat o

Now Watch me change

(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)

Now Watch Me change

(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)

Now Watch Me change

(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)

Now Watch me change

(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)

Watch me stretch And Watch Me grow

Super rock Dat o

now Watch Me change to meta-morpic o

Watch Me change It

Watch Me yo!

Watch Me change type of rock

Then Super rock Dat o

Now Watch me change

(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)

Now Watch Me change

(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)

Now Watch Me change

(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)

Now Watch me change

(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)

Watch me stretch And Watch Me grow

Super rock Dat o

now Watch Me change

whats happenin? I’m Igneous

Watch Me change It

Watch Me yo!

Watch Me change type of rock

Then Super rock Dat o

Now Watch me change it

(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)

Now Watch Me change it

(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)

Now Watch Me change it

(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)

Now Watch me change it

(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)

Image retrieved from http://www.missxpose.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/souljaboyflyerfronthx3.jpg on January 10, 2008.

The Nightmare Before Christmas!

YO,YO,YO,  Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!! The time when the big man in the red suit comes out means just one thing:  The Wicked Awesome Nacho Hotdogs have made a crazy rap!  (You know you love our sounds.) 

We're going to have to leave you for four weeks and two days:  One week and two days for Winter Vacation and then three weeks for track out. I know, a very sad moment for us all, except we know how to cheer you up... to rap out Jingle Bells!!!

But, you need to take this seriously, and no laughing. This isn't a joke. This is going to be Wicked Awesome with a Nacho Hotdog on the side!!! And plus, your granny knows the lyrics, so she can rap along (If this occurs, we are not responsible for any injuries. Oh, and if your grandmother raps with us, please video tape and post it on Youtube!  Granny-rapping is just plain cool.)

Here's our track:

So whaddya' think?  Is that a double-dose of Christmas cheer, or what?   

Signed,

The Wicked Awesome Nacho Hotdogs!!! 

Santa Captured---Giant Snowmen Threaten Holiday!

In a dramatic turn of events, giant snowmen have apparently taken over the North Pole and captured Santa Claus.  Apparently, they feel neglected this time of the year because everyone pays attention to reindeer and elves instead of the frozen friends of Frosty. 

Not sure exactly how this situation will resolve itself, but the European Union has apparently decided to send it a crack team of commandos led by Dog the Bounty Hunter in an attempt to restore order and save the holiday season. 

Want to know more about this intriguing international incident? 

Then check out this news clip created by the Blurb staffers:

So what do you think?  Should the snowmen be punished for their attempts to disrupt the holidays, or was melting enough of a consequence?  Does the European Union deserve praise and adulation for their efforts on behalf of children across the planet---or criticism for adding to the earth's global warming problems with their flame-throwing forces?

Is Dog a hero?

Leave a comment to share your thinking and join us again soon on The Blurb!

Signed,

Bam Bam and the Boys

Image retrieved from http://bbsimg.ngfiles.com/14/10881000/ngbbs45544f0e40cc4.jpg on December 19, 2007.

Getting our Animoto On...

So we've started playing with a new tool here in Blurb-sylvania called Animoto.  Animoto allows users to create short movie trailers from any collection of images.  Our friend the Joker has gotten way into Animoto and he created a presentation that includes images from several of the current events that we've studied during the course of this school year. 

Check it out and see if you can find the title of each of the current events represented in the images.  Leave us a comment with a list.  Let's see who can be the first to get every current event correct:

Looking forward to seeing who gets all of these right!

Signed,

The Blurbers

Image retrieved from http://www.animoto.de/img/logo_animoto.jpg on December 10, 2007.